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U know U have a bad day
when ...............
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Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32
Hell' Angels motorcyclists.
You've been at work 3 hours before you
notice that
your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
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Your birthday cake collapses from the
weight of the candles.
You call the suicide prevention hotline
and they
put you on hold.
You have to sit down to brush your teeth
in the
morning.
Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
It costs more to fill up your car than it
did to buy it.
The bird singing outside your window is a
vulture.
You wake up and your braces are stuck
together.
Your blind date turns out to be your
ex-wife/husband.
You put both contacts into the same eye.
Your mother approves of the person you're
dating.
Your doctor tells you that you're
allergic to chocolate.
You have to borrow from your Visa card to
pay your Mastercard.
Nothing you own is
actually paid for.
Everyone loves your driver's licence
picture, but
you think it looks awful.
The health inspector condems your office
coffee
maker.
You invite the peeping Tom in... and he
says no.
The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund
your
money when she sees your future.
People think that you're 40 and you're
only 25.
When the doctor tells you are in fine
health for someone twice your age.
You call your spouse and tell them that
you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich
on the front porch.
You start to put on the clothes that you
wore home
from the party last night... and there aren't any.
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