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SECTION: JOKES

Read Slowly...

 

It may not be the one you think of the same you have in your mind............... 

Read slow................. 

Line by line ------------------------------- 

and don't conclude fast .............. 

Go through --- 

 
 
 I was scared at first. It was very wide, and very long, and it angled straight up. I decided I had to try it once. I slowly and carefully  eased  myself onto it. It felt weird at first. Then I got used to it. I went  up and down, and up and down on it. I was really loving it. 
  
  
  
  
  Now I ride on escalators all the time.* 
  *********** 
    
  
  I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart. It was so  pure and white. I licked it once, twice..I found I couldn't stop. I  licked  it faster and faster, and harder. I began to scrape my teeth against  it. 
    
  


  
  There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done.And I 
 threw  away the outsides of my Oreo cookies.* 
  
  ........................................................... 
  
  
  I squeezed it gently at first, then a little bit harder. There seemed   to be more and more of it I moved it towards my lips. It was a strange   and   new sensation for me. I put it in my mouth and moved it around and  around   with my tongue. The time soon came when I knew I   had to spit it out. It was quite an experience. 
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *The 1st time I tasted toothpaste.* 
  
  ...................................................... 
  
  
  
  They were both round and firm. There was only the slightest difference  between the two. I took one in my hand and twisted it hard. I used my  other   hand to grab the other one and twist it hard   the other way. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *Now there's a brighter light bulb in the living room.* 
  
  ....................................................... 
  
  It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid   it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was turning it on. It  became firm in my hands, and the end was wet. Then it got very hard  and   began gushing out of the tip. 
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.* 
  
  ............................................. 
  
  I knew it could be done. I wanted to try but I didn't know if I could  do it. I called my friend. He said he knew how to do it and would  teach me. 

  He put his arms around me and started. I watched nervously in the  mirror. 

He  finally finished and pulled back slowly. I felt relieved that it was  over. 
  
  
  
  
  * * *I hate neckties.* 
  
  ................................................. 
  
  It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting. 
I wasn't sure just what I wanted to do with it. I carefully pulled it apart with my  fingers to 
 look into it better. I knew how great it would be if I just started eating it. 
  


  
  
  
  * *But I decided to put ketchup on my burger...

 

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